Unless
by angel13
Summary: Racetrack reflects back on the girl he loved perhaps too much. He reflects back on the day that changd everything. He remembers when the mystery began....


It was midnight. 'Lights out' had been an hour ago. The bunkroom was dark and silent, except for a few newsies mumbling or snoring. But it was peaceful. Off in the corner, however, one newsie lay awake. He stared up at the bunk above him dully. He was trying to shut out the memories. But they kept flooding back. Night after night these memories haunted him, a voice whispering in his ear.

* * *

_He watched her build a snowman with some kids in Central Park. She was cute. Dark brown curls were visible under a stocking cap. She was short too.  
"I wonder what color her eyes are..." He muttered to himself. He watched her a little longer, smiling to himself as she played with the little kids, dodging snowballs. But the girl fell on a patch of slippery ice a few moments later. He jumped into action. _

"Es'cuse miss, are you alright?" He held out a hand to her.  
"Yes, I'm alright." She said not facing him. Then she turned and looked up into his face. She paused, unmoving. It was a moment frozen in time; he would memorize the way she looked at this moment. It was permanently tucked away in his brain...once in a while he took out this mental photo of her. 

"Here, give me your hand." He said.  
She nodded, then he helped her stand. She looked for her hat--it had fallen off and into a murky puddle. 

"Oh no..." She muttered, picking it up with two gloved fingers. The girl shrugged, then wrung it out into the puddle. 

He laughed. "You're alright, though?"  
"Yeah, I'm good." She smiled back.  
"I'm Race." He held out his hand, this time for her to shake it.  
"Mollie." She paused for a moment, looking down at his papers, "Kinda cold for selling papers, isn't it?"  
"Hey, gotta sell to eat. Gotta eat to live. Gotta live to gamble."   
Race took in her sweet smile, and her wide brown eyes. The snowflakes set gently in her hair and on her eyelashes. It made her seem to sparkle almost.   
Mollie laughed. She opened her mouth to say something when a voice called:  
"MOLLIE! LET'S GO!"  
"JUST A MINUTE!" Mollie yelled back. She turned to Race.  
"So....Race. I have to go. But, I'll see you later maybe?" She asked, smiling.  
"Yeah. Yeah, of course."  
Mollie nodded. "Alright. Bye."  
"Bye."  
She turned and ran off, her soaking wet hat in one hand.  
Race turned away and smiled to himself. 

Maybe January wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

Race turned over, wishing it could stop there. But there was more. It wouldn't end until the whole thing had played out, like a moving picture show.

* * *

_"Hi Mollie!" Race called to the girl walking on the other side of the street. She stopped, looking around for who had said that. Her eyes fell upon him and she smiled widely, waving frantically. Mollie ran out into the middle of the street, dodging buggies, horses and vendors. _

"Hiya Race, how are you?" Mollie asked, falling into step beside him.  
"Not too bad. Hey, I was about to head over to Tibby's. Care to join me?" Race offered her an arm.  
"Why Mr. Higgins, I'd be delighted." She laughed, throwing her head back. They walked off together down the road.

* * *

Race stared out the window. He saw this one lone lampost off in the distance. But it wasn't just any old lampost. No...every time he passed it, there was a pain in his heart. Every time the streetlights came on just after dark, memories came flooding back and it hurt like hell.

* * *

_He was out of breath. The cool night air slapped him in the face as he ran down the deserted city streets. He just had to get there. She'd be waiting. _

Race turned the corner, and could see her leaning against the lampost outside the Lodging House door. He slowed to a steady walk, and tried to look leisurely. But she had already seen him running. 

"Racetrack, you're late." Mollie grinned.  
"I know....I ran all the way here from Sheepshead Bay." He came up and stood before her, close.  
"So...didja win?"  
Race grinned, holding up a crisp bill "Five bucks."  
Mollie's eyes opened wide in excitement, "Oh my God, that's great!" She threw her arms around him. Race hugged her back, spinning her around. Slowly, they drew back, arms still around each other. They realized just how right this felt.  
Race gazed into her eyes, unable to say what he was thinking. He gaped at her nervously.  
"Race...." Mollie whispered, looking equally as scared, "I know we've just been friends and nothing more, but...."  
She looked away, and smiled bitterly at the ground, "I've never been afraid of anything, and now...." Mollie looked up, into his eyes, "I'm afraid of you."  
"Me?" Race asked incredulously, giving a timid laugh, "Why me? Why now?"  
"Don't know what you'll say when I tell you...." Mollie gazed uncertainly at the pavement.  
"Alright, Moll. Then I'll say something...." Race froze. Damn, he had practiced this a zillion times before. Why couldn't he just say it?  
"Go on." Mollie said softly, "I'm listening."  
He looked down at her, not able to convey a hundred emotions and memories and the odd quirks about her that he absolutely loved.  
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh good God," Mollie choked out, and turned to run home. In one swift motion, Race caught Mollie's arm and pulled her against him. Tears ran down her face; Race just shook his head, smiled softly...and kissed her. Mollie stopped crying...and he could feel her lips smiling as they pressed against his.  
Mollie pulled back, breathless. She touched his cheek and grinned, "Oh good God," and kissed him again.

* * *

"Oh good God..." Race whispered into the black night. The lampost went out. He blinked, dully realizing what that meant. The first rays of light would sneak up over the tenements in half an hour. Everything would be washed in color. Everyone would get up and hum and the city would be set spinning into motion for another glorious, dewy day. Race blinked again. It would be just like the day--even though-- 

"Oh good God..."

* * *

_"I'm the king of New York..." Race sung to himself as he flipped a quarter into the air. He grinned. _

What a day. What a perfect day. Summer. The temperature was just right and the sky was the brightest shade of blue. 

"And you're so cheerful cuz...?" Skittery fell into step beside him, and scowled a little. 

"Mmm...no real reason," Race grinned to himself and flipped the coin again. "Things have just been goin' my way." 

This show of optimism was far too much for Skittery. "See ya later, man." He muttered, veering off towards a side street. Race stopped and watched till his fellow newsie disappeared behind a corner, then continued on his way. 

"Headin' over to Tibby's?" 

Race turned to see David and his girlfriend Talia standing a few feet away. 

"Well, as a matter of fact, I am. Meeting Mollie." Race ambled over and they all walked together down the virtually empty afternoon streets. The setting sun cast a orange gold glow over everything. The air was the perfect temperature. Laughing with Talia and David felt so right. He was going to meet Mollie. 

Good God. When had life become so perfect?

* * *

That day had been perfect. It was the day he realized that he had been constantly happy for months and Mollie was the reason. Race had finally figured that out and it only made everything better. He blinked. 

Or did it make it worse?

* * *

_Mollie was late. _

Three hours late. 

For a while, Race figured she was just running behind and didn't want to cause a big commotion by tearing through the streets to her house. 

After an hour, he didn't want to leave, lest he miss her as she ran in, breathless. 

And after that, he just lost track of time. Tibby finally had to nudge him and ask could he please leave? It was closing time. 

He felt it in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong. But he didn't want to believe it. Dazed, he left Tibby's. He wandered into the pitch black city, eyes unfocused. 

"Oh Moll...." He imagined her being hit by a trolley....lying in the morgue...."Oh Good God...." 

He trudged towards her building. The light was on in her third floor apartment. A good sign. 

The door was wide open. Race stepped inside, unable to believe his eyes. The whole place was too bright--the lights shined harshly upon the gleaming, empty walls and floors and the tears in his eyes. 

Everything was gone. Not a single piece of furniture or clothing. 

Everyone was gone. This apartment had once housed six people. 

"MOLL!?" Race yelled, uselessly. He tore into her bedroom. 

What used to be her bedroom. He breathed heavily and clutched the doorframe. It too was empty. The curtains stirred lazily in the summer breeze. All that remained was a torn piece of paper...

* * *

Race reached under his pillow and pulled out the worn faded white paper. It was taped in places, and smudged with tears. He unfolded it, as he did every day and prayed to God that maybe THIS time he'd understand its meaning. 

"Gone to a better place the angel can be spotted in the place without stars." 

Mollie's handwriting. Race kissed it, and stowed it away again. The cryptic message he had found three years ago was all he had of her. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what she smelled like. Race could sleep now and be with her in his dreams, as she had been for so long. 

Kloppman clunked up the stairs. A new day would shortly begin. Without her. As they always did. 

Race shifted and feigned sleep a little longer. Unless today, he changed his life and....it would all be too painful, of course she was dead....unless.... 

Race opened his eyes and looked at the sky. Unless she could see the very same sky HE did. Maybe it would be painful. Probably impossible. Unless.... 

Mollie might still be alive. 

Race was going to find out.

* * *

So, what did you think? Should I continue? 


End file.
